Not too crunchy, behind the curve...

Feeling Less Than

the amazing Okinawan carrots

So, I love the internet and all the blogs and free resources out there. I have learned to make things and do things, the how and why and what else of all sorts of subjects of interest.

However, it is really highlighting how lax and uncommmitted I am. I find the need to defend me to myself. I feel low, and lazy.

I don't make all my kids' clothing. [Although, I am sure this blogger and those like her don't make every stitch of clothing, or I'd feel even more inferior... OH NO!] I make SOME of it. I alter used items to fit them. But this is one of my ongoing goals: Make more of my family's clothing.

I don't co-sleep. I felt guilty about it when E was younger. I don't think it's wrong or weird or gross. I just know it's not right for us. J & I need our own space, our own bed, our own room. We do allow the kids to sleep with us on certain occasions, but mostly we think it's best for our kids if they have their own beds.

I am not a vegan or vegetarian. At this point, I know I was not designed to be a vegetarian. Now, I think vegetarianism is fine and good and even admirable. But if I don't eat meat I turn into one Bad Mama, who might attack Marines on the street (and end up covered in someone else's blood from all the rage). Yes, I am aware of the all the wonderful qualities of legumes and soy. I, in fact, love beans! I love tofu! I even enjoy soy milk, I do. I also try to limit red meat. As delicious as I may find it. To limit my environmental impact, given the space, I would gladly raise and have butchered my own livestock. Really. Add that to future goals.

OK, eating locally is pretty hard on a tropical island that imports even milk and paper from points far off. I mean, it's just almost impossible.

Stateside I could eat local, and would. Here, not so much. I do purchase local produce, though it is more expensive, sometimes less attractive, and sometimes not as tasty. Though, the local carrots are AMAZING. The potatoes are not the nice, large, oblong, clean Idaho Russets I grew up with [ha, in central CA]: they require an hour of cleaning before preparing (counting cleaning the sink from the mud that comes off of them), are difficult to handle if I want to cut them, and are not an ideal texture when mashed. But... Here I am on a beautiful island complaining about the local potatoes. Unfortunately, living just off the jungle all my attempts at fruit and veggies have been devoured by birds and insects. Herbs do great, though the rosemary I was so excited about drowned. Add to future goals a veggie garden, fruit trees, etc.

I do not homeschool. Now. I think, sometimes, that I could. I think, sometimes, that I would really enjoy it. But right now, I am not ready. I know myself and I know my children. I think that the socialization an variety of adult influence in my child's school life is beneficial to us. I like my kids coming home to me at the end of the day with their own experiences, even though I am occasionally jealous... If that makes sense to any mom's out there.

I am not organized. But I am trying. *updated* Really I love all these blogs, and all these sites and all these ideas, but sometimes I have to step away and realize that, I need to do what I can where I am with what I've got... Did Theo Roosevelt say that? (In High School history classes I remembered things by making all famous and historically significant things VERY familiar, Teddy? No Theo, 'cuz we're buds and I can. Sometimes I'd sit there and try to remember the actual name because I'd given the person some totally obscure nickname.)