Twirly Whirly Girls [or, JOY IS FREE]

The yellow sticker on these shoes means that they cost five dollars at the second hand store. They were brand new, still in a little plastic bag. When Iz saw them she clasped her hands to her mouth and widened her eyes, "OH, for me mommy? For me?" Although they were pricey for the Thrift Store, she had been complaining about the shoes she picked out to wear (without socks) and she clearly was dazzled by them. After leaving the store, I let the girls run up this big hill they love. Iz said, "Mom take pictures of my shoes, OK?"

E likes to run home from school. While I would say it is a walkable distance, she runs almost the entire way. Flat out, face in the wind, dress flowing around her, running. She loves it. She says I could drive next to her and she will beat me home. I doubt it, but she does not. So now I've agreed to always walk to pick her up, so that she can get the added thrill of "beating" me home. She stops at the intersections (which are really not, there are a series of cul de sacs on one side of the street) and waits for me to wave her on.

I see a lot of people running. My neighbor runs before sundown. She is lean, and dark. She runs with a passive expression, a mediative runner one might assume. A woman who runs in the morning near a major street always looks to me as if she is running for her life. In a movie, the star would be followed by the villain. -Similarly there is a bone thin young man I've seen who runs as if Satan is on his heels. He seems to sprint in terror from the moment I catch sight of him in my rear view mirror, until long after he passes the cars stopped at the light and disappears down hill. I am actually somewhat worried about him. And then there's me. I put effort into not running. Although, I do occasionally run with the girls. Sometimes I find myself running and think, this isn't so bad. But I never have felt the joy I see on my daughters when they run

And then there is sweet Iz, who shouts an enthusiastic I DO! in response to "Who wants to go pay bills with me?" She chatters on and on about what a Good Girl she is, how she is my Little Helper, and a Good Sister. She loves to tell people that she will clean "our whole house" for me, because she loves me.... (Which has yet to materialize, but she has good intentions.)

I am reluctant to post pictures of my kids. But they are so beautiful, I feel almost selfish (clearly I have some vanity about this) keeping them to myself. And then I think again, and then again.... I just don't feel comfortable with it. I have a few people whose blogs I read that I feel very invested in, but by and large the internet is full of strangers, and I don't think it's OK for just anyone to know too much about my sweet girls. I email our family and friends (31-34 email addresses) a copy of what used to be called The Baby Update, and now has just become, in my mind "The Update". Some people want pictures, and others complain the files are huge, and I should email them separately. Anyhow. I think far away shots are OK. For now, that's my rule.

But that joy in their faces.... It pulls me out of all my tasks and all my mental lists. I am not sure which idea I like better, that I contribute to their joy, or that they are capable of it all on their own.