I am feeling very discouraged. I have not made much progress with my goals.
I am honestly trying, but I feel as if I am spinning my wheels and starting from scratch every day.
Make some healthy habits.
I am taking the stairs and walking more. But I am also avoiding returning to the Dr. as if he hands out the Plague (which is not, in my imagination, an impossibility). I have not lost any weight despite changing some eating habits. I don't feel much better despite working two different daily stretches for my arms and neck, but I do have slightly less painful range of motion in the morning.
Organize Organize Organize.
On going and slow going. My stuff seems to multiply when I am not looking. And a lot of things seem to hang out for very long before I get around to donating them.
The uncluttering goes on and on and things keep showing up. Things I purchased or someone else purchased or the Big Kid passed to the little ones after I told him he was too old to keep toys when I actually intended for those things to be tossed or donated. -Elsewhere, not into another corner of the house, where it becomes junk to more people.
Take more college courses.
I took four classes. Three As and a B (in Japanese, ouch). However, I did not take any summer classes. I enjoyed (mostly) the classes I took, they were interesting and I admit that I like the work; It is concrete, has an end, and I felt a sense of accomplishment from it. However, I simply don't find the time and expense justifiable. I am simply too tired at the end of the day from everyday life and far too distracted during class time. I hope to take a few classes in August, but have no idea how the logistics will work out, as I will need a sitter for at least one of my little ones.
A great deal is up in the air for my family at the moment. It makes me feel as if I have an excuse to do nothing, although I know that's not legitimate.
I need to "just keep swimming".
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i know i need to exersize. and just the other day my doctor told me i need to exersize, though she understands that it's hard in this evil weather. when i lived in my apartment i worked out almost everyday [unless i was bleeding profusely] and i went for long walks about every night. but i'm afraid to walk around grandma's house [like i have said before, it's the perfect setting for an abduction]. sometimes i pace like a maniac around the close line, but not as often as i should. my calves still look great, otherwise, i'm the biggest fatty. well, no, i see people fatter than me all the time, but i don't remember them as often as i see people way thinner than me. i want my face to not be so fat, so i can be pretty again.
ReplyDeleteOops, i meant "clothes" line. i'm sure other things are also misspelled, but i know you're used to that. it's just that i was outside, just looking at the clothes line, thinking, "i don't remember spelling 'clothes' but i know i mentioned the clothes line". and i would have paced it like a mad woman, but there was a sprinkler on in the middle of it. i know, "excuses, excuses". like i was thinking that i should just run around the outside of the house, but then i thought that would make me look insane to the grandparents. but actually, i know grandma would think it was good that i was exercising. like, she was telling dad that she only makes me one egg because they're high in cholesterol and i never exercise unless i'm walking to the store to buy cigarettes. damn. and i just bought a carton, so no reason to walk to the store for days, unless i want PEPSI, and then it's like i'm doing good by walking, then drinking all that sugar and caffeine.
ReplyDeleteAntoinette, Just sending you some good thoughts across the ocean. I understand the getting discouraged, but you have such a great, clear-cut set of goals that you will achieve them. Reading your post, you are doing what you set out to do. You wanted to "make some healthy habits" and you have changed some eating habits and are doing two daily stretches. Your second goal was to organize, and it sounds like from your other posts, you have indeed been donating things and decluttering. Your third goal was to take more classes and you took four - all with excellent grades. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteAnd according to a study I read yesterday that only 5 percent of Americans even set goals, you're already in that top five percent. I think the only thing may be to set more concrete mini-goals otherwise the sense of accomplishment is harder because these are really life-long goals. Maybe the goal specifically could be - only 30 grams of sugar a day for three days this week or two bags of donations out the door by Friday or one class in xyz completed by the end of the fall semester.
You are doing great - you just aren't giving yourself enough pats on the back. Good wishes Antoinette! Eileen
Eileen,
ReplyDeleteI know I made these huge goals and felt like that effort alone should have propelled me forward, and am ridiculously disappointed that that was not the case. But your words of encouragement are heartening.
My trip to CA and some of the events in our household are helping me to regain focus and perspective. I appreciate your good wishes,
Thanks,
Antoinette